The IDR cycle is a pattern of narcissistic inflation (“I”), deflation (“D”) and realistic resolution (R”) that parties typically experience during negotiation and mediation.
For more on the cycle, see Elizabeth’s article, “The Psychology of Mediation: Issues of Self and Identity and the IDR Cycle.” Please contact Elizabeth for a review copy if you wish to review the article prior to publication.
INFLATION
Prior to the negotiation, parties often experience a great deal of anxiety.
By the time they arrive at the negotiating table, however, they experience (1) a sense of overconfidence about the likelihood of obtaining their preferred negotiation outcome, which is (2) tied to an inflated, overconfident view of the self (narcissistic “inflation”).
Parties’ initial overconfidence in mediation and negotiation has been well documented. It has been called “one of the most robust findings in the social sciences in recent decades.” [1]
[1] Russell Korobkin, Psychological Impediments to Mediation Success: Theory and Practice, 21 Ohio St. J. on Disp. Resol. 281, 284 (2006).
DEFLATION
As contact with the other party intensifies, each party learns that his/her unrealistic expectations may not be met.
The result is a sense of deflation or disappointment. With each offer or counteroffer, there is a sense of injury to the self, a loss of “face.”
The mediator’s job is to help the parties to move through the disappointment and maintain a focus on objective thinking.
Often, however, impasse cannot be avoided.
Impasse occurs when each party realizes the requirements they have set for the behavior of the other person are not going to be met.
REALISTIC RESOLUTION
In order to move to realistic resolution, the parties have to reflect more deeply on the needs and interests of the other parties. 
The mediator helps them evaluate their options, and encourages communication about how they can construct a deal.
During this phase, the parties have to release the connection which exists in their minds between their sense of self and the outcome of the negotiation.
Ideally, they emerge from the realistic resolution phase with a deal.
Even so, there will frequently be some disappointment afterwards because they were not able to meet their previous, overconfident goals.
I read your entire article and just wanted to acknowledge that I really liked the insights that you have gathered and are sharing. As someone who has studied and practiced conflict resolution and cultivation of inner neutrality and equanimity, I found one comment to be particularly worth writing into my journal: “In many ways, this commitment to inner neutrality is an essential prerequisite to a truly well functioning outward neutrality.”
In gratitude,
Kalee Powell
By: Kalee Powell on July 10, 2009
at 1:05 am
Thank you very much Kalee. I appreciate your reaching out and connecting with me, and the appreciation for my article. Please feel free (but not obligation) to call me so we can meet in person. My number is (415) 391-7272.
Elizabeth
By: Elizabeth Bader on July 10, 2009
at 6:05 pm